I'll share my story with whoever would like to read it. I was born into a Christian family, accepted Christ into my life during Junior High years, and was an avid Christian all through college. I was a missionary for 3 years too, and attended seminary. I worked as a minister in an evangelical church for 5 years. I have a history of serving the Lord and it is still the passion and love of my life to please the Lord with my life and with my service to God.
During my life I always had a nagging feeling that I was somehow different from other girls... I did not date boys much in high school, and in college only had one boyfriend. On the mission field I felt very strong feelings for other female members of my team, and then as I entered the ministry I felt a tugging for female companionship more strongly than ever. Often I prayed and fasted and pled with my Savior to remove this attraction I had for other females. At that time I felt extremely frustrated in my spirit and inside I felt dirty and perverse, even though I had never acted out my feelings. Later on I did act on my feelings of attraction with another woman and I felt as if I had committed the worst sin in the whole world. I prayed, got Christian counsel, and came to an impasse: either God had made a mistake in how God had formed me, or I was wonderfully created (Psalm 139) just as God intended me to be. I am so happy to tell you that I was able to affirm my God-given nature and find freedom from my frustration. I was able to realize and embrace the fact that God made me, created me to be a lesbian woman. That's who I am. It isn't something that I have chosen, rather it is something that God has chosen to gift me with.
How do I deal with this realization? I still love and serve Jesus with a passion as before. But now I can do it with integrity because I no longer have to lie about who I am or try to hide my sexual orientation. I am a lesbian woman who loves Jesus Christ. I am not ashamed of my faith nor of my homosexuality.
Two years ago God gifted me with a life partner, yes, a woman, and we were married (not yet legally, but God willing, some day!) We are happy together and have a lifetime commitment of faithfulness in Christ centered unity. We thank God for creating us as lesbians and for giving us to each other.
May God grant you readers with the liberation that only Christ can offer.
In Christ, Sharon